I absolutely detest the inner torments that invade me during the first few weeks and months of dating someone new. I become obsessed, yet I try to act cool. I wait for texts and emails, as if they are signs of approval. I want to see and hang out with that person all the time, yet I need my personal space. But when I have my personal space, all I can do is to think about that person. If that person acts as if they are disinterested, then I lose hope. The uncertainties and the inadequacies (based on my expectations) drive me insane. Am I just a sexual object? Does he have any long-term interests in me? Am I too dumb? Am I boring? Is he secretly a heartbreaker? Does he even like me?
Part of me thinks that I should not have any of these worries. After all, if he is smitten with you (as we've seen with our friends), then how can he resist the urge to talk to you all the time?
What if I disclose these insecurities to him? That seems like an efficient solution, but does that make me too vain? Will he understand?
Perhaps it's best to note down my thoughts and cool off for a bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment